How to Find the Perfect Present

Giving the perfect present is one of my favorite things to do in the world and, not to brag, but I’m known as the Leslie Knope of gift giving among my friends and family (okay, that was definitely a brag). And, if you don’t know what that means, then maybe you should reevaluate your TV choices and also just trust me that I’m good at gift giving.

Giving an amazing gift isn’t as hard as it sounds, it just involves avoiding a couple of classic pitfalls, thinking carefully about the gift recipient, and keeping your eyes and ears open for present ideas, ideally all year long.

The Danger of Giving Something YOU Want

The biggest gift giving pitfall is giving someone a gift that you want, not something the recipient wants. Often this is not a conscious decision. You play a game or read a book or go to a restaurant or smell a candle and love that game/book/restaurant/candle so much that you think everyone will love it so it would be a great present for anyone.

The most important trick to getting a perfect present is picking something that the receiver loves. It sounds obvious, but people get that wrong all the time! I have Celiac’s and don’t drink alcohol, but many people assume I love cider. But despite telling people many times that I don’t like or drink cider, people insist on getting me cider. They like it so much that it’s easy to forget that I don’t like it.

Don’t get me wrong, I so appreciate that people even think of giving me a present! Adulthood is expensive and I’m very grateful that someone could have spent money on themselves and were generous enough to spend it on me. But that present wasn’t made for me, it was made for them and so I probably get less enjoyment out of it than they would.

Listen In For Perfect Present Ideas All Year Long

And this is where you can get some ideas for a thoughtful present. If someone gives you something that you don’t like that much but they clearly do, stow that information away as a present idea for them (in a note on your phone perhaps).

Another great strategy is to be on the lookout (or the hear-out?) for presents all year. If someone mentions something they really want or need, write it down! Not later when you’re home, write it down immediately or you’ll forget! I can’t tell you how many times somebody has said they want something and I think I’ll for sure remember it tomorrow, in two hours, heck, in 20 minutes, and then totally forget.

If they talk about their favorite movie, TV show, game, food, toy as a child that they lost and have been sad about for years, write it down! Interests and passions are goldmines for future thoughtful presents and believe me, you can score that childhood toy on Ebay if you look hard enough.

How I’ve Implemented This

My dad loves frisbee so once I bought him one of the original Frisbee pie tins that inspired the game of frisbee.

My mom described a book that she loved as a child but couldn’t remember the name of, so I did some Google searching, found the book, and bought it for her. My brother loves skiing and I found out his gloves were getting old so I bought him nice, new ones. One of my sisters loves musicals and desperately wanted to see Hamilton so, at peak Hamilton fervor, I moved my work schedule around to be at my computer the exact moment tickets went on sale and clicked “Buy” when the second hand hit 0.

These presents ranged widely in price, but they all were very meaningful and aligned with the person’s interests. In some cases, they led to happy tears. That’s the power of just listening.

Do an (Only Slightly Creepy) Deep Dive Into Their Interests

Sometimes it also works to just start listing out their interests. If they’re an old friend or family member you might be able to create quite the list. I did this recently with my brother-in-law and listed out: fish, plants, Star Wars, guitar, swimming, current events, Hawaii, camping, and hats.

That last one may sound weird, but we all know guys who wear baseball hats pretty much every day and there’s a good chance they could use a new one. I was surprised at the number of things that I could think of and was able to get a few different present ideas out of the list.

Check Out Their Social Media

Another strategy if you’re perhaps shorter on time but on the lookout for something meaningful is to peruse their social media (a little creepy, I know, but it’s for a good cause!)

Check out which accounts they follow that are linked to businesses or celebrities. Is there a comedian they love who might be coming to town? Do they follow a clothing brand that is selling something cute they might love (or could at least exchange for something they love, worst case scenario)? Do they follow a million corgi accounts and you could get them a corgi desk calendar for their office? You get the idea.

Experiences Can Be the Perfect Present

People also tend to default on products when brainstorming present ideas, but experiences can often be the most meaningful presents. Here is where you might draw on your time with that person.

For example, if you love going to the movies together, have a shared favorite restaurant, or have been talking about having a spa day for forever but haven’t done it, those can all be good present ideas that, in many cases, are more environmentally friendly than buying a product.

The present doesn’t even have to cost anything to be meaningful! My siblings are super busy people so I would love to go on a run with my brother or have a girls’ night with my sisters and have that time be the present itself.

Get Crafty

Likewise, creating something can often be more meaningful than buying something. One of my favorite presents ever was a slideshow my friend created for me set to music when I was 15. Andrew and I built some artsy shelves for my sister for her birthday. Every year I make a calendar for my Mom with a collage of pictures of our families on each month. I often draw cards for friends instead of buying them. All these things are more meaningful than most things I could buy.

To summarize, getting the perfect present is not as hard as it sounds. The keys are to: focus on the person you are buying for and their passions, interests, and even childhood memories (some social media snooping/research can be helpful for this), be a good listener (not just at holidays but all year round), and consider experiences and handmade gifts.

And last but not least, an Amazon gift card definitely does not count as a thoughtful present. Sure it’s fine if they explicitly ask for it, you are so strapped for time that there’s just no other option, or you don’t have a close relationship with that person and so are not in a place or do not have the time to buy a meaningful present (like if they’re your kids’ teacher or a coworker or your friend’s SO that you don’t know that well).

But the Amazon overlords don’t need even more of our help and Amazon gift cards are like the elevator music of presents, not necessarily bad, but definitely not great or memorable.

Any other tips you’d recommend? Let me know in the comments! If you enjoyed this post or think it would be helpful for others, please consider liking, subscribing (in the left sidebar), or sharing with others.