Your Guide to Goal Setting for Couples + Free Worksheet

I’m a big fan of developing long-term goals. Doing so has helped me push myself to try new things and gain confidence. For example, my goal-setting around this blog was a huge motivator for continuing with the blog, even when I felt discouraged. The new year is a good time for setting new goals and evaluating your progress on existing goals. However, most people tend to focus on personal goals and don’t think about the possibilities of goal setting for couples. This is a lost opportunity because developing shared goals can bring couples closer together. Plus, it’s often easier to accomplish goals as a team than as an individual. 

In this post, I’ll discuss why you should develop goals as a couple, examples of great couple goals, and how to make your goals achievable. At the end, I provide a free goal worksheet.

Why Is Goal Setting for Couples Important?

There are a few reasons why it is so helpful to set goals with your partner. First, setting goals with your partner is a great way of getting on the same page about your long term trajectory, values, and dreams, which is important for healthy relationships. For example, if you have a goal of getting married, starting a family, buying a house, or any other big picture goal, you’ll want to make sure your partner is on the same page with both the goal and the timeline. Setting goals together gives you a great opportunity to discuss your long-term plans and set a solid foundation. You can then work together on how you want to achieve them.

Additionally, you may find it easier to achieve your goals with your partner involved. For one thing, they can serve as an accountability partner and help keep you on track for both shared and individual goals. If you both want to start exercising 3 times a week, say, you can help motivate each other to go to the gym. 

Plus, your partner may provide instrumental support for reaching a goal. As an example, if you decide you both want to buy a house in the next year, they can help save towards a down payment.

Finally, one of the best things about setting goals together is that it can bring you closer together as a couple. Mental health professionals find that setting goals together as a couple can improve relationship satisfaction. It may even lead to lower relationship conflict and an increased ability to express your needs and desires with your partner. Consequently, setting goals as a couple can aid with personal growth and your growth as a couple.

Goal Setting for Couples Examples

So what kinds of couples goals might you consider? There are a variety of types of goals depending on your preferences and values. I’ve organized them below into different areas. While many of the goals below can also be framed as individual goals, they are generally easier and more fun to achieve as a couple!

Health Couple Goals

• Work out X times per week.
• Walk X steps per day
• Set a weight loss goal (i.e. lose X pounds by X time)
• Limit bad food choices like cutting out alcohol, sugary snacks past 7pm, etc.
• Increase the amount of healthy foods you eat, like eating fruits or vegetables at each meal, getting in X grams of protein, etc.
• Drink X cups of water per day
• Get at least X hours of sleep per night

Relationship Couple Goals

• Go on a date night once a week, month, or whatever timeline works for you
• Have a device-free dinner together X times per week
• Meet weekly to discuss plans for the week, finances, or other topics that help you get on the same page as your partner
• Get engaged or married by X time
• Start trying to have children (or another child) by X time
• Host a monthly hangout with friends and/or family members

Personal Finance Couple Goals

• Save $X this year towards X goal
• Buy a house, condo, or townhouse
• Contribute X% of your income to your retirement accounts 
• Create a will by X time
• Meet with and hire a certified financial planner by X time
• Create a budget together and check on your alignment with that budget in a monthly meeting

Travel/Adventure Goals

• Go on X trips this year. You might also specify whether these are domestic or international trips, romantic trips, family trips, etc.
• Go camping X times this year
• Hike X times per month or year
• Try a new activity neither of you have done before each month
• Visit each of your families X times this year

Personal Development Goals

• Read X pages/books per day, week, or month
• Learn a new language together
• Learn a new skill together like woodworking, knitting, cooking a specific kind of food, etc.
• Try a new restaurant once a month
• Start a trivia group, sports team, book club, or other fun, collaborative group that can build your skills and support your social life
• Plan a self care day or time. If you have kids, each partner might agree to watch the kids during a specified time each week so that the other partner can do an activity they love or that relaxes them.

There are many other good ideas for goals that I have not included here. Of course, the best goal for you and your partner is one that aligns with both of your personal development and values. I therefore encourage you to reflect on what makes you excited for the next year and your growth together as partners. You may think of other new habits that will serve you well in the future.

How to Make Your Goal Setting for Couples Effective

As you are going through the goal setting process, you’ll want to make sure that you are creating achievable goals. The last thing you want to do is create goals that demoralize you and your partner or that you’ll quickly abandon. Good, effective goals generally share a few key traits that you can aim to incorporate into your own goals.

SMART Goals

Arguably the most effective way to achieve your goals is to make them SMART. SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. First, you want to create specific goals. Specific goals are clear and offer a concrete endpoint. For example, a goal to save $2,500 by the end of the December 31st is specific. However, a goal to save more is not. With clear goals, you’ll know if you’ve achieved them or not.

Indeed, that leads to the second quality, which is measurable. Measurable goals enable you to measure and assess your progress. For example, if I’ve saved $250, I know that I’m 10% closer to my end goal of saving $2,500. Not all goals have to be measurable to that degree. However, you should still have a reasonably clear sense of whether you’re on track.

Next, the goal should be achievable. If you’ve always struggled with saving and make your main goal to save $25,000 in a year, that’s going to be very difficult to achieve, especially depending on your income. It’s better to set smaller goals that you can achieve than to set a too big goal that will make you feel demoralized.

Your goal should also be relevant. In other words, it should fit with your values and life. Otherwise, you’ll likely struggle to find the motivation to achieve that goal.

Finally, your goal should be timebound. In other words, you should have an identifiable target date by when you want to achieve that goal or a specified amount of time to do that goal (like working out 3x a week). Regardless of the type of goal, an effective goal is generally one that is SMART.

Developing an Action Plan

After you’ve formulated your goal, you should develop action steps to help keep you on track. I’ve provided the goal-setting worksheet below to help you develop an action plan for your long term goals.

An action plan can take a number of forms. For a big, long-term plan you might break up the big goal into smaller goals and schedule them into a monthly or even weekly plan. Using the $2,500 savings examples, you might set up an automatic withdrawal from your checking account to withdraw $209 on the first of every month and put it into a savings account. Or you might create a reminder in your phone on the 10th of every month to transfer money to your savings.

If you have a goal of working out 3x a week, you might schedule workouts into your calendar at the beginning of each month, sign up for regular workout classes, or put your workout clothes by the front door as a reminder.

There are a number of different ways to formulate your action items. However, the most important part is that your action items should also be SMART and reduce any obstacles to you achieving your goal. Towards that end, you should also consider any obstacles to your goal and how you’ll account for them in your action plan. 

If you want to host monthly get-togethers, you might consider obstacles like some of your friends being very busy or flaky. Maybe that means you’ll invite people weeks in advance or set a consistent date each month. If you’ve previously set similar goals, you may find it helpful to review obstacles you faced over the past year to achieving that goal.

Goal Setting for Couples Worksheet

A goal-setting template can be a valuable tool as you embark on these discussions with your partner. SMART goal setting worksheets help you stay on task and remind you about important things to consider when setting your goals. I’ve provided the following worksheets in PDF format to use as goal-setting tools. 

Simply download the free worksheet and print it out at your home or local library or print shop. Alternatively, you can use the worksheet PDF without printing and use it to guide your discussion and take notes.

You can use the first page of the goal setting worksheet to brainstorm shared goals. The next page is for developing an action plan. While these worksheets are valuable tools on their own, feel free to adapt them to your personal use and use them as a jumping off point. You may find that you need more space to outline your own couples goal action plan.

Final Thoughts on Goal Setting for Couples

The New Year is one of the best times to reflect on how far we’ve come over the last year and to think about the positive change we’d like to make in the coming year. It’s common for people to make New Year’s resolutions as individuals. However, setting goals and resolutions as a couple is just as powerful. It can bring you closer together as a couple, set you on a shared trajectory, and give you an accountability partner. This year, I hope you and your partner achieve amazing things together and individually!

 I hope you find the free printable worksheet helpful. If you use this free resource, let me know what you think! And regardless of if you use it, let me know what your individual and couple goals are for the New Year in the comments! I’m excited to hear them!

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And if you’re interested in related content that can help you achieve various goals, check out my posts on SMART goal setting; fun, inexpensive date ideas; saving for any goal, and my ultimate guide to wedding planning.