Cute and Tactful Ways to Ask for Money as a Wedding Gift

One of the most expensive things we can do as an adult is throw a wedding. In 2022, the average wedding cost $29,000! And it cost closer to $35,000 in large cities! Given the high cost of weddings and the high cost of just existing as an adult in general, it’s no surprise that many couples would rather receive cash as a wedding present than a physical gift. Plus, with many millennials and Gen Zers living in smaller homes and/or trying to follow a somewhat minimalist lifestyle, there just isn’t space for a lot of traditional wedding presents like household goods. However, it can feel super awkward to ask for money as a wedding gift.

According to wedding website, the Knot, 70% of couples register for money as a wedding present. Moreover, 85% of couples would prefer cash over physical items. That gap highlights that many couples feel awkward asking for financial gifts, even though they’d prefer receiving them.

In this post, I’ll talk about cute was to ask for money as a wedding gift. I’ll also talk about some of the etiquette around asking for (and giving!) money. By the end, I hope you feel more confident about asking for and giving monetary gifts if you prefer to do so.

The Etiquette Behind Asking for Money as a Wedding Gift

Wedding etiquette experts say that it’s okay to register for cash. However, they have a couple of rules around asking for money the polite way. First, and most important, registry etiquette says that you do not ask for money (or any present) on the wedding invitations. Doing so suggests that people have to bring presents if they want to attend. However, you shouldn’t put any expectation on your wedding guests to bring gifts.

Instead, you should include a link to your wedding website on the invitations. On your wedding website, you can then include registry information with links to a traditional wedding registry and/or financial contribution registry.

The second rule is that you should still register for physical gifts so that your guests have options. Personally, I don’t agree with this rule. I say it’s your big day. Moreover, many people would rather get no gift than a gift they don’t want and have to store, return, or give away. Plus, getting physical presents that you don’t really want is wasteful for everyone. 

So if you don’t want traditional wedding gifts and would rather ask for money or nothing, I say go for it. Worst case scenario, a few family members get offended. However, that’s a reflection of them rather than you. And the good news is that we’ll talk through creative ways of asking for money in lieu of traditional gifts. I hope that these methods help ease the qualms some wedding guests have about cash wedding gifts.

Cute Ways to Register for Money As a Wedding Gift

There are lots of different options for asking for cash gifts. You can focus on one method below or use a combination of methods to give your guests options. Either way, asking for money is a great way of getting your marriage off to a better financial start, especially given how much money you likely spent on the wedding! Sorry to remind you.

Ask for Honeymoon Contributions

One of the most popular ways of asking for money in a tactful way is by creating a honeymoon registry. Basically wedding guests can contribute money to your dream honeymoon. You can make this more like a traditional registry by having guests contribute to specific experiences. For example, they could contribute to a hotel stay, spa day, or even your drink tab. This is a good way of personalizing the gift of money. It can also make guests feel more like they’re giving you something from your gift list. 

I went to a wedding that did this and Andrew and I had tons of fun deciding which experiences we wanted to contribute to. You can find a list of honeymoon registry websites here.

Create a Savings Fund for a Specific Goal

Instead of asking for honeymoon money, you could also set up a fund for a new home, home improvements, or another big purchase. With these cash registries, it’s a little harder to have guests contribute to specific components like with a honeymoon fund. While it’s fun for a guest to buy you a spa day, it’s less fun for them to contribute to new drywall. 

Consequently, to make this a cuter contribution, spend time crafting a few paragraphs about how much a new (or renovated) home will mean to you for your married life. You might say how you can’t wait for your dog to have a yard, to host your guests for parties, or to finally have space for a Christmas tree. You might include pictures of the kinds of house or interior you are looking at/striving for. The key is to make your guests feel like their gift is meaningful. You don’t want them to feel like they’re just contributing to an anonymous savings fund.

Use a Cash Registry Website to Register for Fun Experiences

Some cash registry websites, like the one offered by Zola, allow you to register for contributions to fun experiences. This could be anything from a dance class to home cleaning. They also allow you to register for bigger things like a down payment on a house.

The great thing is that you are not wedded (pun intended!) to spending money on the particular idea advertised. A guest can contribute to a fund for a cooking class. However, the money goes to your bank account so you can end up using it for a down payment. Shhh, don’t tell them though!

Register for Gift Cards on a Traditional Registry

Additionally, you can ask for gift cards on your wedding registry. In this case, you can have a more traditional wedding registry. However, you give guests the option of giving you gift cards to home improvement stores, furniture stores, or even for necessities like groceries and gas. By getting gift cards, you can save money on necessary purchases. You can then divert those savings to your bigger savings goal. Consequently, it’s a roundabout but nice way of saving towards a cash fund without directly asking for cash.

Offer an Envelope Box at Your Wedding Reception

At your wedding reception, set up a festive box with a slot for people to put their wedding cards. People may feel awkward about just bringing a card, so this helps lessen that feeling. Plus, this is a subtle way for people to give you an envelope of cash if they prefer to do so. And it’s more secure than having cards spilling over on a table.

With cash gifts, it’s also important to emphasize that the greatest gift they could give you is their presence at your wedding. A gift of cash can feel transactional. So by emphasizing the meaningful ways they are contributing to your wedding and new life, you can ease some of that feeling.

Cute Ways to Ask for Money As a Wedding Gift 

How do you actually go about asking guests to give you money as a wedding gift? Here are a few options. 

• “We are so excited to see you at our wedding day! We are not asking for physical gifts, the best gift you could give us is your presence! If you would like, you can contribute to our [honeymoon/down payment/married life] fund, but we certainly do not expect it.”
• “We feel lucky to have spent the past X years building a life together and our kitchen is already crowded with underused kitchen appliances (looking at you air fryer!) So for our wedding, we are asking just for your presence! If you would like, you can contribute to our down payment fund so we can get a home with a slightly bigger kitchen! However, the most meaningful gifts for us are your best wishes and presence on our special day.”
• “We are so appreciative of the time and effort you are putting into attending our wedding. We know that many people are traveling and so we ask that you only bring yourselves! If you feel so inclined, we have provided a link to contribute to our [cash registry] However, we are not expecting or asking for any gifts.”
• “As we look forward to our married life together, we have big dreams for the future. One of those dreams is to buy a home, start a family, and one day invite you over! If you feel so inclined, you can help us work towards that dream by contributing to our down payment fund.”

And, of course, you can frame it in some totally different way. Again, the most important thing is to emphasize that a gift is not required and the most important thing is their well wishes.

How Much Money Should You Give as a Wedding Gift?

One of the reasons I think so many people balk at the idea of contribution to a cash fund, is that they don’t know how much money to give. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes in the U.S. version of The Office. Michael Scott says, “Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It’s like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, ‘Hey, man, I love you this many dollars worth.’”

With a traditional registry, you can feel like you’re not really highlighting how many dollars worth you love them. You can get them the $25 potato masher or the $300 Vitamix and either way it’s something they asked for. However, you might feel more uncomfortable about giving $25 to a honeymoon fund because the amount feels like it’s much more on display. 

That being said, there are a few important things to keep in mind. First, people understand that everyone has different cost constraints. A truly loving and happy couple will be appreciative of any gift, no matter the amount. Second, lots of small gifts add up to a lot. If 100 guests each give $25, that’s $2,500 towards a honeymoon, home renovation, down payment on a house, etc. Anyone would be thrilled to receive $2,500! And third, if you have the resources to contribute a flexible amount of gift money, there are guidelines you can follow.

Zola recommends that distant relatives and people who don’t know the couple that well spend $50-$75 on a cash gift, friends and relatives spend $75-$100, and close friends and family members spend $100-$150. If you’ve traveled or otherwise spent a lot on the wedding, you might consider adjusting lower. These are just rules of thumb.

Final Thoughts on Asking for Money as a Wedding Gift

Asking for money as a wedding gift can feel awkward. However, the vast majority of couples either are doing it or want to do it. Asking for money is also a great idea for setting your marriage up for success. Having money to pay off wedding expenses and save towards a big, meaningful purchase is likely more useful than new candlesticks. So consider setting aside your qualms about asking for money and use one of the cute ideas above to ask for money as a wedding gift.

Just remember to always emphasize that gifts, including money, are not expected and that you value your guests’ presence. Additionally, always send thank you cards for gifts, including monetary ones. It’s especially important with monetary gifts to clarify how you used and appreciated the present. In the end, you want the giver to feel appreciated and recognized, no matter the size or type of gift.

I hope you find this guidance useful. Do you have other cute ideas for asking for money as a wedding gift that you’ve used or seen? Let me know in the comments! And if you enjoyed this article, please consider liking, subscribing or sharing with others. It’s always a big help!

Interested in related content? Check out my ultimate wedding planning guide, guide to micro weddings and elopements, wedding diet and workout plans, and money-saving tips for weddings.